Wednesday, December 2, 2009
"God, please let me get a drum set, please, please, I will never ask for another thing in my whole entire life.” I had envisioned myself playing the drums on the Donny and Marie show. How great I would look in my purple jumpsuit. Roller skating out onto the stage with Donny and Marie as they were singing"I'm a little bit country, and I'm a little bit rock and roll.” How glorious! On my way to fame and fortune!
See it all started one spring day when I was at the park having a family picnic. I had found my way to the swings where I was minding my own business. Suddenly, a girl wandered over to me and asked "are you Donny Osmond?” Huh? I mean I did look a lot like him when I was eight minus the serious buck teeth and the fact that I was about 15 years younger . . . minor details. "Why yes" I replied. I proceeded to belt out "Puppy Love" at the top of my lungs. Oh, I failed to mention that I was wearing my variation of the purple jump suit. Purple pants, purple long sleeved shirt with a zipper and huge white collar. I could see how anyone standing half a mile away could see the resemblance.
I knew I was very good looking at the age of eight, minus of course tooth issue, bowl haircut, and the tee-shirt I wore almost every day with the words"Hot Fudge" written across the front. Maybe I could be a drummer for any popular band. I had it all. I was a catch. Of course I had yet to receive my drum set, so the talent part was still questionable.
Finally the day arrived. October 29. My birthday! I could hardly contain my excitement, but it was a school day, and I was told I would have to wait until I got back home to open my present. That should have been the first clue. How do you wrap a drum set? However, I just knew I was getting that drum set that I had been visualizing for the last six months. I got on the bus full of joy and anticipation. I sat in my seat, leaned my head on the window and quietly sung "Puppy Love" so that no one could hear me. I wanted them to all be surprised at my talent when I roller skated onto the stage with Donny and Marie.
Finally the school bell sounded! "Oh yes" I thought, "it's time to show the world what I have to offer.” Back on the bus, riding home, quietly singing "I'm Leaving It (All) Up to You.” I was a prodigy in the making.
Home at last, rubbing my hands together, pacing the floor, "is it time?" I asked my mother. "Just a minute honey, dad is on the way home with your present.” "Yes" I thought. "They must have custom made my drum set.” I could see it, red paint with gold flecks, white front with a big M. I almost passed out at the thought.
Suddenly in the middle of my fantasy my father walked in. "Where's the drum" I thought? "Probably in the car because it is too big for him to carry. He must be getting ready to call some neighbors to unload it.”
"Surprise" my parent’s yell. Surprise. Surprise what? I don't see anything to be yelling surprise about. My father reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out an envelope. "Okay" I say to my parents, "I've got it, it's a picture of the drum set that will be delivered because it isn't ready at the custom drum factory.” Both of them look at me like I have two heads and then start laughing. "No honey" my mom says, "These are tickets to the ice capades, Dorothy Hamel will be there along with all the Disney Characters.” My mouth falls open, I start making croaking sounds, I hyperventilate and suddenly before I could catch myself, I hear my self yelling "Ice capades, Disney . . . DAMN, How am I going to get on the Donny and Marie show without my custom-made drum set? My life is ruined!" I ran downstairs to my room, grabbed my purple "jumpsuit, ran upstairs and threw it in the trash. I was grounded for two weeks and had my mouth washed out with soap and yet I still had to see the ice capades.
Turning eight sucked!!!